The End of The Narcissist
Going to Tenley Myers apartment
When dad was hospitalized and I started coming down to help out it turned into me helping Tenley move her stuff around more than helping dad. She had moved out of her apartment and was now living with dad. But the McElroy’s, who own the apartment she was in, needed her stuff moved to a different apartment so they could finish some re-model work on hers. So off we went to move her crap around.
As we came around the corner to her street she ran into a friend of hers. His name was Kenny. Kenny had on one of those ankle bracelets the police put on you so you cannot leave a designated area. I am not sure his crime and didn’t really want to know that much about him. From their conversation you could tell they were very close. They were talking about all the mutual friends of theirs and their current legal statuses. Who was in jail, out of jail, etc… Kenny was very excited about the bags of plastic bottles and other recyclables that Tenley had in the back of her car from Dads house and the pile she had in her apartment. He followed us down to her apartment and proceeded to pile more plastic black garbage bags on a bicycle then I could ever imagine possible, a master recycler to say the least.
I have to admit I was a little taken back by how close she was with people like Kenny, but that is how I always have been. Maybe a little naive about how bad Tenley really is.
We walked into her apartment and it was like nothing I had ever seen before. Not a hording type of mess but just a lazy type of mess. She wasn’t using any of the bedrooms anymore so her bed was in the living room. With the couch and other furniture it made the space cramped to say the least. There was no lighting and the sheet over the window made it dark with some filtered light coming through. The majority of the light was coming from the open front door. Everything was dirty so all the lines were softened by that. But what was the most disturbing to me were the edges where the walls and floor came together. These edges were even more softened by the massive amount of dog hair that was allowed to accumulate there. It would be a torture chamber for anyone with an allergy to dogs. It was obvious that nobody had swept or vacuumed in this apartment for a very long time. I was there to help and that is what I did. I helped her move her stuff from that apartment to the one upstairs but all I could think about was getting out of there and taking a shower somewhere clean.
As we walked up and down the stairs carrying her crap from one dingy apartment to the other is when she was telling me about how she harassed the neighbor to no end. She did it with a smile on her face. She took such joy in it. She always bragged about how she had lawsuits against her, about how she kept winning. Know, knowing the neighbors and knowing the truth, the depth of her lying has really become clear to me. The sickness she suffers from. Unfortunately the nature of that sickness forces her to push the suffering off on everyone around her. This was the real difference between her and my father. He never really meant to hurt others. He didn’t get joy from it. He just did it by his nature. She does it for fun and sport.
Tenley Myers Tax Attack
When the world revolves around you your specialty will relate to everything. I never thought of Tenley’s stinger being full of tax advice. Wow!
Why Taxes you ask? That’s an easy one. Sociopath’s are so self absorbed they really see themselves as living more correctly then everyone else. They hold you to the standards that they believe they hold themselves to. Tenley talked all day about how conservative she was. She talked about how she “LOVED” George W Bush. Really most of her communication was talking negatively about someone else. Riding in the car was extreme. She has to criticize just about everyone that she happens to end up behind because they are just doing it wrong. We all do that, but this is different. Basically the everyday disappointments that are normal for everyone are totally unacceptable.
But back to taxes. The reason Tenley loves working with numbers is because they never disappoint her. They can always be resolved. They will never disappoint you. True, numbers do disappoint us all the time. You can be disappointed with the number of dollars in your bank account, the number of people in front of you in line at a theme park, the size of your waist line and even your age. But that’s not the numbers fault. They have no fault really. They are content.
Another important reason Tenley likes working with numbers is the minimal human interacting. A normal office environment doesn’t work well for Tenley. Because of the interaction issues most people in the office end up disliking her or even hating her; the level of dislike depending upon how close they let themselves get to her and how much they were willing to let her get away with just for her to go away.
Is a diamond just a diamond or could it be an aquamarine
This is embarrassing but I let myself fall for it again. This frog let the Tenley tell the tale and draw me right back into the same old game. I felt comfort in the fact that she had gone through rehab and convinced myself of the results I expected from what I know of that process. But the fact is her problems are not due to the reasons she would be in rehab for. I forgot that you cannot just make a joke with her, you cannot just say something without first at least trying to think of all the angles that she could use to start a fight. Which is exactly what happened.
Tenley had gotten a power of attorney for our father so she could pay his bills and handle his general business. After buying herself a Range Rover she gave me a couple thousand dollars. I think she did this so she wouldn’t be the only one taking money from him. I took the money because I was spending so much time down there and away from work without pay. Not thinking that the Tenley would once again reveal herself (ribbit).
I was on my way back home sitting in the airport waiting for my flight when I got a text from my wife with a picture of a ring she had bought while I was out of town. My wife and her mom had gone shopping. She never really got a wedding ring she wanted when we got married. She had picked out an old retro ring that was too big and had it modified to fit. She never was really happy with it. Anyway, Her and her mom had found a ring that she liked. It was an aquamarine stone. She paid a couple hundred dollars for it and charged it on her Macy’s card.
Jokingly I forwarded the picture of the ring to Tenley and made some standard humorous comment about how this is what happens when you leave your wife home alone. This setup Tenley on a tangent that went on for days. Most of her rants were via text messages and nasty childish voicemail’s on my and my moms answering machines. You see, if Tenley gives you money and you don’t use it the way she approves of you have now disappointed her. And at that point its “GAME ON!” The truly amazing part is how she justifies buying a Range Rover and she comes down hard over a couple hundred dollar ring.
Now the funny part of this entire exchange is how she kept saying that my wife was obsessed with diamonds. Fact is the ring had an aquamarine. You could tell in the picture I sent her and she was told this at least 20 times. But once Tenley gets something in her head she just keeps obsessing on it, spinning it around in her head. The nastiness that came out of her was what I remembered from years ago. I should have stop communicating with her at this point. But again, its the frog in me.
She kept stating that what was so wrong about it was that “we could barely feed our children and we are buying diamonds”. You see, I had made one comment about how at that time we were living paycheck to paycheck. Fact is we had just moved to Seattle from the San Francisco area and put all of our money into the move and the down payment on our house. Sociopath’s always seam to take everything to the extreme. There is no normality at all. This is the fuel to her fire. This is how sociopath’s start the fights they need in their lives when there is nothing to fight about. They take something you say and think it to the extreme, then find a way to find fault in what you do because of that extreme.
It’s sad when you cannot even let your guard down with a sibling like that.
Bring it On, or is it Game On!
Tenley Myers Attacking the Illegitimate one
Tenley was pissed off about the amount of money dad spent on Illegitimate One. She was jealous. She wasout gamed by Claws. The thing is, it was dad’s choice to pay for his school and other things. My God, the amount of money Tenley scammed my dad out of her entire life you would think she understood. Below is an email she sent to the poor kid. She doesn’t care, kid or adult. In fact you can see her saying some really bad things to a child in the court transcripts for Case number BS108726; Paz vs. Tenley above
“Hola Christopher (Illegitimate One),
Because my father Jack used his money to pay your school this year he does not have enough money to pay the hospital that will teach him how to walk again. Please tell your mommy to send him some money from her job right away. He gave you money from his job when he work. Now is you and your mommy turn to repay the money
Tenley would in fact go on to attack he and Claws much more. The emails and details will be updated when I get time.
“He loved me unconditionally, no matter what!
Actually, if you get anything it will be because I feel sorry for you and decide to kick you back some the way I sent you that $6,000 before because your clinically obese wife said there was no money for food.
Did you know that your wife’s food addiction and resulting obesity is something worse than any addiciton I may have ever had. How is it you and mom love and pity her anyway. Tell me, when she says she has a problem and asks for your help will you tell her no and change the locks?
I know what unconditional love is to both receive and give. I can only hope that you and mom find God because otherwise you will never have experienced it. ”
Tenley Myers– 2/28/2010
The above email is a great demonstration of how the Tenley is mentally stuck at the age she started drugs. I figure about 12. Her personal attacks are so childlike it is almost embarrassing to put them in this book but it’s too much of a great example not to.
First, my wife has no food addiction, anyone bigger then Tenley is viewed by Tenley as being obese. I guess when you have to run like Forest Gump in order to keep from snorting blow all day your own weight problems would eventually go away. Or was it the Cocaine that cured that for her. No that is what gave her the whistle she has in her nose you can hear across the room with every breath she takes. Wait, am I lowering myself to her level, maybe, so be it.
Anyways I am not sure where she was going with the locks, I guess when I kicked her out of my house years before after she moved in, screwed all my friends, harassed my x-wife and destroyed anything I cared about, she took it kind of personally. And all I got was a stupid lamp. And yes, I changed the locks.
Notice in the email she talks about how we should find God so we can experience unconditional love like she does. The only unconditional love I know of that she has ever received was from her abusive father and her surrogate family. I guess when you’re engaged to someone you live with and you catch them with another woman in your own home and you then go on to remain best friends that would be unconditional love. A little Jerry Springer like if you ask me.
“God”, I am having trouble typing right now because I am laughing so hard just thinking about her relationship with God. This also comes from her relationship with the Surrogate family. They consider themselves Catholic, but in reality the way they treat people and the things they do makes them the biggest Hippocrates I have ever met. I could go on for chapters on the subject but it’s not really about them.
Notice also how she talks about being in control and how I will only get part of the inheritance if she “decides to kick you back some”. Yes, this does show how she really does think it’s up to her and not law. I will have to add this to the Stealing and Inheritance section as well just for reference and so I am sure to get it in the evidence presented in court.
Costa Rican Private Eye
The Surrogate Family wont tell our secret because we know theirs
You Killed My Father!
Finding out about my father’s tastes in child pornography was a hard pill to swallow to say the least. I didn’t know much about it; it’s not really a subject I ever cared to think about. It wasn’t something that affected me directly until that day. But now that I knew it made me re-think much of my childhood, who my father was and what I knew of the relationship he had with my sister and I. It changed the way I viewed his relationship with Marcella down in Costa Rica. I spent a lot of hours thinking and meditating on it. My emotions went back and forth between anger, pity and confusion.
The more I thought about the nature of it and how it affected these innocent children’s lives. The more articles I read the more pissed off I got at him. The more I thought about the supply and demand nature of it. The way children are sold into prostitution and photos taken during the hell they endured at the hands of adults. Trying to imagine how anyone could get pleasure from that, especially your own father is a huge emotional drain.
So over the last year of his life I was dealing with these issues in my head. I was taking time off work going down to LA regularly to help Tenley deal with his dying. She was living in his house and taking care of him when he was home. I went down for thanksgiving to give him a great one before he died, allowing him to see his grandchildren for the last time. I was seeing a councilor regularly trying to deal with all of these conflicting emotions. After all, as a rational human being I really just wanted to see my father go painlessly.
After thanksgiving dad was on a high. He was feeling better and happy considering where and how he was. His partner Steve was at the hospital regularly and the dilutions that he was getting better where helping him to be optimistic. But by this time I had been taking a mental inventory of the pain that I had been through in life because of him as well as the pain that others had gone through.
Here he was, going out thinking that everything was great between us. That he had done a great job in raising me. This was eating at me. I was trying to figure out just how to approach it. I was starting to feel like he needed to own some of what he had done. At this time he started trying to get hold of me. I was in a place in my head where I just couldn’t talk to him. It was very conflicting. How could I be the compassionate person I have worked so hard to become after leaving home so long ago and at the same time not let him get away with it? How could I go into his hospital room and possible confront him on all the ways he had wronged me over the years? When I see or read stories of childens lives ruined by sexual abuse it eats me up, raises my blood preasure, and makes me want to hunt down and destroy the perpetrator. How could I let one of them so close to me go out without owning that? After seeing all the signs in my sister over all the years and having no dout of my own that something happend at a very young age between them how could I just let it go?
It was at this time that Tenley was playing one of her oldest games. She was projecting herself on me followed by telling daddy what I was doing (which in fact she was the one doing) and getting daddy on her side against me. I believe it was at this point she was getting ready to try and get dad to alienate me and take me out of his will. She was already trying to paint a picture that I was only after his money, when she was clearly the one after it; I show this in the rest of this writing and it is very clear in her emails. It was at this time I got the following message from Tenley:
“Dad is trying to call you.
My life is hard enough without having to have him ask me to call you and find out if you are ok. I have not told him that I choose not to have you in my life because you are both only interested in his money. Frankly, because if I did, he would be heartbroken.
Please man up and either return your fathers phone calls and earn some of half the house you are desperately waiting to inherit or return his call one time and tell him you dont want him to call you.” (source)
First of all, doesn’t that seem to be more about her? I mean really, “my life is hard enough”. But I digress, Man up, man up, oh really, is that what she really thought this was about? So, I did exactly what she was requesting I do. I decided to “man up” and send my father a message that he needed to hear. One that I know he would understand because I know down deep he knows what my children meant to me. He knew that I was a better father then he ever dreamed of being. Because I was two states away it would have been hard to just head on over and talk to him. I also wanted my words to be as exact and straight forward as I could. So I sent him a text message. This would also allow him to read it a few times and be very clear. The message read:
“If you want to know what you are before you are not I will tell you. Innocent children’s lives were ruined for your pleasure, you are a fucking monster!”
The first part of that may seem odd “If you want to know what you are before you are not” but that is a direct answer to a question/quote from his writing. You see, in his writing he liked to quote some of the greatest minds at the beginning of a subject. With his dilutions of grandeur he of course quoted himself a few times. So my stating it that way was a direct reference to his writing. So it was totally clear to him that yes, I have read all of your writing an yes I am answering that question for you, so there is no misunderstanding, there is no delusion that he can build around himself to protect himself. It just is what it is.
I wondered how he was going to react. Would he spin it around in his head and justify it like Tenley would do? Or would he own it. It turned out that he owned it. He stopped talking to Tenley because I was never supposed to know about it and she betrayed him that way. He also stopped eating, he lost his will and died a few days later. This was the proof to me that he was just a narcissist and not a sociopath like Tenley. He actually knew what he did was wrong and when faced with the fact that I now knew what he had done and that he now knew that I was 1000 times the man he ever was, he owned it.
Do I feel bad for saying it and how it turned out? Hell no. Why should I. I spent my entire life biting my lip and not confronting him on what an ass he was. When it came down to it I couldn’t just let him believe that I respected him when I did not. I do have Tenley to thank for that. If she had not pushed me to do it I may have stayed on the fence and possibly never said anything. I would have regretted it to this day.
So, is she correct in her claims that I killed my father? Come on. He was on his death bed already. She bragged for days about how she saved his life three times the previous week. He had been home a total of 9 days in the year before. All I did was make sure he knew the truth about who he was, and how I felt about it. As the lyrics of Pride and the Pallor state:
“The children are reminded to do it for the daddy’s sake, and happiness is ever so far, far away.”
Well, I was done doing everything for daddy’s sake. I was done doing what Tenley wanted me to do for her in his name. It was time for him to own who he was and face the reality of how that affected others. Like I said, in the end, he owned it and in an odd way, I actually gained tiny little bit of respect for that. I actually believe he understood. Or, I could be wrong and he was just pissed off and embarrassed. I will never really know.
I could write much more about this subject as it represents the deep pain that has surrounded my family for a very long time. I am sure I will.