Morality
As a reference I will start with a link to my father’s writing on Morality or you can just take a quick look at the general definition of Morality.
As I got older I started to realize that it was my father where I got my sense of morality. Where I learned to respect people. He was in no way racist from what I know and in his entire life I never heard him curse. Not once! When he was in the hospital I was having lunch with the Tenley and one of my father’s business partners and friends of more than 30 years. We were talking about dad and he was answering any questions we had about his work life. He asked if I had any other questions about him so I had to ask if he ever cursed around the office. When he said that he did all the time both Tenley and I let out gasps of shock. Really, I am not making it up. In my entire time on this planet I never heard that man curse.
Where I learned that doing the right thing is what you should always try to do. As a child I always thought he was very honorable. He always came across to me as such a highly moral person. That was his front, his shield. In reality he totally understood what was moral. He didn’t think that things he did were wrong. He just knew that most of society did so it had to be kept secret. Hence the shield. But being a narcissist you are coming from the position that you are “normal” and its really the majority of society that is just dead wrong.
Because my father knew what was moral he held me to that standard. But, did he really live by the standard I was expected to live by? On face value anyone around may think so, I certainly did when I was young, but behind the shield it was much different. Because he had his mirror he was able to push off all the things that he thought were great about him. So he could see them for himself. She was his perfection staring him in the face. So he could tuck away the shortcuts he took in his morality. For him, they really weren’t wrong, just unacceptable. But for me it was different because I was held accountable for it where neither he nor the mirror were. They just reflected greatness back upon each other while looking through a distorted view of what is outside the dimensions of the mirror view.
Tenley explained to me how she had to remind dad that I was coming in the following day and would be staying in his guest room. And that he may want to put away all the naked pictures he had laying on the bed in that room of Claws.
I find it very hard to believe that Tenley could possibly understand morality. I believe that both Tenley and my father understood what other people saw as moral. I believe they both knew where that line was drawn, where most people they knew would hold themselves from crossing. This knowledge is used to manipulate and get what they want. They know what to say because they understand where other people place themselves in relation to morality. But I also believe to them that the ends will always justify the means. They will cross that line to get what they want and say what they have to in order to put off the perception that they have morals.