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This page is just a dumping place for things to remember but have not been integrated into the story yet.


 

Drunky & Snot (Tenley Myers cousin and her husband)

No; it’s not an English pub, it’s not a strange cartoon written for adults like The Simpsons or The Flintstones, it’s a husband and wife. It’s not that their parents were really mean/stupid and gave them those names. Their real names being Shari and Scot. It’s just Tenley’s pet names for them. She thought it was the funniest thing she had ever heard.

After spending much time with Scorpion over that year and the events that involved Drunky and Snot it got kind of comfortable to say so I will refer to them as that throughout this writing.

I don’t really know them. My cousin Drunky grew up in Michigan. Living that far away we never really spent much time together. A couple trips for us back there to see them and the same for them coming to our house. Later Tenley became close with her and always kept in touch. There was one time back in the 1980’s where my x-wife and I met them at a restaurant for lunch. That is the only time I have ever met Snot.

Aside from that all I know about them I heard from Tenley or Jack. I was told that Drunky has major issues with alcohol and abuse of ADD drugs. That she spends her nights drunk and drugged up painting Disney characters on the walls of the house. I was also told that she had experienced blackouts while driving her children to school and that she had been arrested for battery on Snot. I really don’t know if any of this is true but the phone calls I was witness to and the subject matter didn’t give me any reason to doubt it.

In fact, don’t take my word for it, I will let the below email speak for itself and explain what happened between them while Jack was in the hospital:

From: Tenley Myers
Sent: Sunday, September 06, 2009 1:25 PM
To: walterjudymiller
Cc: tor@edilabs.com
Subject: Jack Myers

Dear Walter and Judy,

I hope this email finds you both doing well! I got your email address off of an old email I received from Sheri. I hope it is still the same.

Anyway, I want to let you know that my dad was hospitalized back in June. He has congestive heart failure. But, he is doing well. He is out of the hospital and in a facility that cares for patients in these conditions. I have moved into his house in preparation to care for him when he returns home, which I hope will be soon.

I am no longer talking to my cousin Sheri, so I want to make sure that CORRECT information regarding Jack Myers is being relayed to people who may care for my father.

I have some concern as to what you and others may have heard because about a month ago, Sheri’s husband Scott called my fathers Tennessee office and told them that my father was in a coma and not likely to recover. This is simply untrue. Scott also asked the Tennessee offfice if there was a will and inquired as to who may be named in any such will.

I am not sure why I have forgiven Scott for his mulitple indiscretions, and for having Sheri arrested last year for spousal abuse, and then for filing for divorce this year. I guess it is because that is all between the two of them. HOWEVER, calling my fathers business partners and telling them my father is in a coma and not going to live is my camels straw. I cannot forgive this and don’t want to talk to either of them again.

When I told my father Scott called his office and said those things, along with the fact that Sheri was calling the hospital at 1 am pretending to be me, he requested that I dont talk to either of them. I must respect his wishes.

Therefore, I would like to let you know he is doing well. I would love to give you and Lawsen the contact information for where my dad is located, but with Sheri calling the hosptial pretending to be me and Scott inquiring as to if he is in my fathers will, I simply cannot chance having this type of crazy and desperate drunken chaos interferring with my father and his road to recovery. Honestly, I am hesitant to release any information because I dont trust them to behave.

I hope you are both well. I wish it was under better circumstances that I contacted you.

Take care

Tenley

 

Before she had ever sent the above email she forwarded the following one to me twice, three minutes apart. The email was an original from Drunky after moving into their house. The first email was just a basic judgment on their character:

From: Tenley Myers
Sent: Sunday, September 06, 2009 12:32 PM
To: tor
Subject: Fw: On the move again

why are the pics of their house and not their kids???

i saved this because i always thought that was curious

— On Tue, 4/19/05, Sheri Johnson wrote:

From: Sheri Johnson
Subject: On the move again
To: “Tenly Myers Cc: “‘Sheri Johnson'”
Date: Tuesday, April 19, 2005, 4:59 PM

Hey!

I hope all is well. Please copy this into your address book. It should be
good for a while. I don’t plan on moving again any time soon. 🙂 Please just
respond with a hello to know if you got this. Come for a visit!!!

Sheri

The second email below is a threat to make this all very public, which I guess I am in turn doing now:

From: Tenley Myers
Sent: Sunday, September 06, 2009 12:36 PM
To: tor
Subject: Fw: On the move again

if i “reply all” to this one but meant it only to walter and judy miller so i can let them know why i dont talk to sheri and scott and inform them of dad is that wrong?
— On Tue, 4/19/05, Sheri JohnsonFrom: Sheri Johnson
Subject: On the move again
To: “Tenly Myers Cc: “‘Sheri Johnson'”
Date: Tuesday, April 19, 2005, 4:59 PMHey!

I hope all is well. Please copy this into your address book. It should be
good for a while. I don’t plan on moving again any time soon. 🙂 Please just
respond with a hello to know if you got this. Come for a visit!!!

Sheri

Once Jack passed away Tenley needed information from Drunky to get the death certificate completed so she made up with Drunky and Snot. This is after all the MO of the Sociopath. As long as they need something from you like; information, money, drugs, or a place to stay to hide out from their last victum, they will be nice, charming and appear to bend over backwards for you. But as soon as they don’t need more from you they will move to take everything they can, hurt you and leave you confused as to what actually just went on. They ruin lives without a second thought.


When they are nice,,,, worry

One of the most important things to remember when dealing with a narcissist or sociopath is that they will always be nice to you as long as you have something they want.  As long as they have something to gain, they will be nice to you. But once they have gotten what they want, or you don’t have anything they want they will turn their back on you. If they are just a narcissist then they will most likely just start to ignore you, but a sociopath will have to hurt you before they go, if they go. Because you also have to remember that they need to abuse other people to get through the day. They need confrontation. So even if there is nothing like; money, drugs, clothing jewelry, etc… that they want they might just keep hold of you for energy. The energy they can only get from building their ego by tearing yours down.

 


Underestimation

In the self absorber’s eyes they are so much better than you they will always underestimate you. Just be aware you need to not play your cards. This is where the game is lost. They will draw you into an argument. You know you shouldn’t be drawn into it but they push so many of your buttons it’s very hard to resist.


After it is all said and done, after the back and forth of having a relationship with Tenley I find it very easy to just walk away and never have a relationship again. Not that I would walk away from pursuing legal actions against her, I am just talking about actual relationships here.

Over and over Tenley always states that she never gets a second chance. That mom or I never loved her. That it was always her, alone.  How Dad, Brian McElroy, and her dog were the only ones that every loved her “unconditionally”. Well, that is really what she was asking for wasn’t it? How many times can you forgive the pain?  How many times can you look past the fact that you can tell the future and ignore it again?  That you know, entering back into a relationship with her will lead to another cycle of abuse.

Now with three children I have to consider the effects it will have on them. Unfortunately, again, I was naive and actually bought into her lies about being sober, about working through her issues and not being mean anymore. When she went through her live-in rehab followed by sober living house she never really learned to be sober, she just learned what to say to the people around her to make them believe she was. To get them to let down their guard. So my naivety led me to taking my wife and children down to San Pedro for thanksgiving. I let them get close to her, get to know her. Then when the Tenley storm came around again in full force I had to pull them back.  How do you explain to small children why they will never see her again?  Do you tell them she is dead? Or do you really try to explain it to them knowing that they are too young to actually understand it. Most adults I try to explain it to don’t fully understand.  I guess that could really be what leads to my writing this book. Maybe it is just my feeble attempt to make clear what the sociopaths work so hard to muddy up. After all, chaos is the cloak they use to get it, get what they want and hurt you on their way out.

I wish at this point I could give some advice on how to handle a situation like this with your children but I cannot. I am not comfortable explaining how I handled it because doing so may open up the door to her coming in and manipulating them at some later date.  I will only say that they understand that she is “broken”. That she does what she does because it is who she is and by this age there is no way she will change. The fable of the scorpion and the frog is a wonderful way to see it.

I did have one very bitter sweet moment recently when my 6 year old told me that he couldn’t remember what she looked like. I asked him if he remembered my father. I even showed him a picture from the weekend we were there and he told me that he didn’t. It is good to know that my step-father is who my children will always view as their grandfather. They have very positive memories of him and they knew him very well. This will always give me hope that through my actions both personally internal and in what I convey to my children that I can stop the cycle that the Myers men seem to follow. I am not a narcissist, sociopath or even just plain self-absorbed. I have taken the time to seek professional counseling to find that out, not just drawing my own conclusions.


Feels Like Schizophrenia

 

I have often felt as if dealing with Tenley was like dealing with someone suffering from Schizophrenia. You really don’t know who you are going to be dealing with from one day to the next. They seam like mood swings or something but more extreme. And it doesn’t cycle throughout the day. Its more of a day to day thing. Like other self absorbed people I have known they will focus so hard on an issue outside of work that work doesn’t really matter until they can resolve that issue. So one day you see that person in the morning and they are sweet and nice. Joking and having fun. The next day you say something simple and you get a condescending jab back at you.


The thing that I find funny about Tenley being so adamant about nobody finding out about dad is that she talked about how people will judge. How they will see you differently and how embarrassing it is. The funny part is that my entire life it was her actions that reflected on the family in the same way. Always have and always will. She of course would never see that.

 


Some videos

If there is one emotion we know a sociopath can feel its fear.

 

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When the narcisist is no longer gazing into the mirror, what happens to the mirror? It breaks! Truth be told, it always was broken.