What kind of person goes out of her way to annoy and distress her father for her entire life because of her hatred for him, but then convince herself that it was because she loved him? That would be Tenley Myers
What kind of person gets in a fight with her mother and then convinces her she is dying of aids just to get her to call her back? That would be Tenley Myers
What kind of person steels her brother, 2 nephews and her niece’s inheritance and college money that her father wanted for them and is able to justify it and even blame them for it? That would be Tenley Myers
What kind of person threatens the lives of an entire family, including small children in front of them, just because they are unlucky enough to be her neighbor? That would be Tenley Myers
What kind of person ends up with 7 restraining orders in her apartment building made up of 6 units? That would be Tenley Myers
What is a sociopath?
A person, as a psychopathic personality, whose behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience. Someone whose social behavior is extremely abnormal. Sociopath’s are interested only in their personal needs and desires, without concern for the effects of their behavior on others.
The Mayo clinic defines Antisocial personality disorder as the following (Source):
Antisocial personality disorder is a type of chronic mental illness in which a person’s ways of thinking, perceiving situations and relating to others are abnormal — and destructive.
People with antisocial personality disorder typically have no regard for right and wrong. They may often violate the law and the rights of others, landing in frequent trouble or conflict. They may lie, behave violently, and have drug and alcohol problems. And people with antisocial personality disorder may not be able to fulfill responsibilities to family, work or school.
Antisocial personality disorder is sometimes known as sociopathic personality disorder. A sociopath is a particularly severe form of antisocial personality disorder.
It is my belief that Tenley is a full blown Sociopath and I have plenty to document here to demonstrate this. But first lets break it down a bit further shall we?
There are ten general symptoms (Source):
- not learning from experience
- no sense of responsibility
- inability to form meaningful relationships
- inability to control impulses
- lack of moral sense
- chronically antisocial behavior
- no change in behavior after punishment
- emotional immaturity
- lack of guilt
Characteristics of a Sociopath
A sociopath has a brain. Sadly, a sociopath never uses the brain for his/her use. They believe that much can be achieved by conning and manipulating others. Hence, with a thought like that, sociopath wastes time in convincing others about their malicious ideas. They do so by putting on their charm. A sociopath victimizes the other person as an object to be used for implementing cruel intentions.
Incapacity for Feelings or Emotions
This is the main, yet hidden sociopath characteristic. A sociopath has no scope for emotions or feelings. They only make a superficial exhibition of their emotions. They do laugh, cry, get angry and depressed momentarily. The underlying reason for this superficiality is, they live in their own world and have their own set of morals. They are often ruled by a belief that their actions bear no consequence whatsoever, and they are not accountable to anyone. Incapacity for feelings and emotions allow a sociopath to elude responsibility for actions by placing the blame on others.
Sociopaths have a boundless capacity to lie. It all begins when they lie once to hide a mistake and then continue lying to cover the earlier lies. As mentioned earlier, they are incapacitated to feelings, they do not understand the impact of compulsively lying. If they are caught lying, sociopaths are clever at changing the subject by blaming someone else and crawling clean out of the mess. Often, sociopaths are so clever at lying, that they pass lie detector tests also. Which is why, they rarely end up in prisons. And who thought sociopaths were out of brains!
A sociopath does not have emotions is true. But a sociopath has shallow emotions is equally true. Shallow emotions adheres to show of warmth, joy, appreciation and motivation towards others to satisfy the ulterior motives. These sociopath traits make them seem emotionally strong. They remain cold and do not show reactions to what may cause a normal person to react. They make promises to others to get their job done. However, they are fake, and so are their promises.
The logic of thinking twice before you do anything or say anything does not exist with a sociopath. They get so overwhelmed by a certain idea to which they react impulsively. These actions are always driven by a devious acumen, such as cheating, stealing and lying. The excitement of doing the act is so great, that they jump on the opportunity which leads them into shady acts.
Among characteristics of a sociopath, their parasitic nature is very evident. They act like leeches that cling on to everybody. They do so to find an accomplice to their actions. To get their plans done, they get hold of people closest to them, so that they can conveniently slip out the act when desired and then place the blame on others.
Sociopaths have a beautiful charm about themselves, which is good enough to cover up all their devilish acts. They are very amusing, carefree and lively. These are the traits that draws a person to them. They often win the admiration from others and can make the crowd gawk at them.
Sociopaths indulge in bragging about themselves like there’s no tomorrow. They firmly believe that what they are doing is absolutely right and there’s no way they would do anything wrong. They are self-assured about themselves. This leads them to making highly preposterous and unrealistic plans about life, making money, marriage and living. Sociopaths fail to understand why others around them are so against them.
Whether it’s a murder, robbery, lie or any other criminal act for that matter, a sociopath feels no guilt whatsoever. They can never empathize with others and neither can they feel guilt for blaming others. They have an amoral world of their own. They lie to an extent where room for guilt gets occupied by self made reality. They often believe that the pain inflicted on the other person was deserved by them. Many criminal sociopath often are seen giving such explanations.
Regularly Seen Sociopath Characteristics
* Early behavior problems, which are seen as juvenile delinquency and referred to as sociopath characteristics in children.
* Indulging in crime of slander.
* Promiscuous behavior and infidelity.
* Entrepreneurial crime mindset.
* Authoritarian and secretive.
* Cheap goal setting, like enslavement of victims.
Learn the red flags and personality traits that might identify a sociopath:
* Thinking about suicide at a young age.
* Killing insects for fun as a child. And/or Animals. And are not caught and punished for this act.
* Abnormal interest in sexual pleasure as a child.
* Abnormal interest in violence/blood as a child.
* A child who rarely smiles.
* Superficial charm: the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, and slick. Not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. He never gets tongue-tied and has freed himself from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.
* Grandiose self worth: a grossly inflated view of one’s abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. An arrogant guy who believes he is a superior human being.
* Need for stimulation (proneness to boredom): an excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Often has low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because he gets bored easily.
* Pathological lying: can be moderate or high; in moderate form, and will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever (in extreme form, he will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest).
* Conning and manipulativeness: the use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one’s victims.
* Lack of remorse or guilt: a lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and unempathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one’s victims.
* Shallow affect: emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.
* Callousness and lack of empathy: a lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.
* Parasitic lifestyle: an intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.
* Poor behavioral controls: expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.
* Promiscuous sexual behavior: a variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.
* Lack of realistic, long-term goals: an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.
* Impulsivity: the occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.
* Irresponsibility: repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.
* Failure to accept responsibility for own actions: a failure to accept responsibility for one’s actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.
* Many short-term relationships: a lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.
* Juvenile delinquency: behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.
* Criminal versatility: A diversity of types of criminal offenses (regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them); taking great pride at getting away with crimes.
How to Deal With A Sociopath Effectively?
Now that you know something about their nature, one can think about, how to deal with a psychopath. Here are some thoughts about how you can do that!
Stay Away from Them!
Once you realize you are dealing with a sociopath, the best thing to do is to remove them from your life and stay as far away from them as possible! As you cannot cure sociopaths and beating them at their own game is risking your own life!
Do Not Try to Reform Them
Studies have shown that efforts at curing sociopaths with therapy only backfire! The sociopaths use the therapy in sharpening and polishing their conversational and conning skills. There is no known successful treatment for sociopaths. A person who has a core of humanity left in him can be reformed. People without a conscience, or people who can override the call of their conscience are beyond reform. Most of them are best kept behind bars!
If a psychopath has ruined your life and if you feel that you should warn other people before he ruins theirs too, do so at your own risk. Report police authorities if you come across evidence of violence inflicted by the sociopath. The faster they are put behind bars, the better it is. Remember they feed on your fears and emotions and use them to manipulate you. Be fearless, and deal with them coldly.
For those of you, who have been unfortunate enough to have crossed paths with a sociopath, I would like to say that, do not lose your trust in humanity. There is a lot of goodness and beauty in this world which is waiting to be beholden by you. Don’t let sociopaths and other anti social elements bring you down to their level. Deal with them with a cool mind and do not ever hesitate in doing the right thing, no matter how hard it is!
Perhaps the most famous and beloved sociopath we know of would be Lucy from the Peanuts comics. As a child I always related very well to the Peanuts specials when they came on at Christmas time. The games that she played were exactly mirrored in these specials. Many people have written about Lucy and a quick search on the internet will produce ample analysis for Lucy and her relationships. Wikipedia sums it up quite well;
The below quotes explain it best with the football incident:
“every year in the fall Lucy would somehow manipulate Charlie Brown into trying again, only to pull the ball away to trick him. The most infamous example of this is the animated special It’s Your First Kiss, Charly Brown, where her actions (she pulled the ball away four times) cost the school football team a win in the Homecoming game, yet Charlie Brown is blamed even though he is clearly not at fault.”
“Lucy is frequently irked by her younger and more passive brother, Linus. In particular, she wants Linus to stop his attachment to his security blanket, and has even gone so far as to cut it up (to make shapes for a “flannelgraph” and later to make squares for Linus to clean his glasses with) and to steal and hide it. She once made a kite out of it and “accidentally” let go of it. The blanket flew around the country and people wrote to Linus to let him know they saw it. It was rescued by the Air Force when it flew out over the Pacific Ocean. Another time Lucy buried the blanket, causing a frantic Linus to dig up almost the entire neighborhood before Snoopy found it.”
In reality it doesn’t matter if they win or loose a conflict. They will always win in their mind because they can twist the facts around to meet their needs so well. This is where we, are normal functioning humans will always loose before even trying. The game is rigged so to speak. You could even say that just getting in the conflict in the first place is a win for them. Just being able to get someone pissed enough to ruin their day makes their day.
I have been trying for a long time to figure out just where to start with the sociopath. There is so much information and because this is her basic condition that causes her to do what she does, say what she says and view the world the way she does this will most likely be a very lengthy section. Therefore I will break it down into subjects like I have at a higher level in this writing until I can find a way to put it together and make it make sense. So it may not read like a book right now but it will eventually fall together that way.
Like I said in the mirror, it is not necessarily the fact that she was the mirror that made her a sociopath. It was many other factors. But first I think I need to introduce you to her.
Tenley is my older sister. She is around 1 1/2 years older than I am. The way I heard it from more than one source she didn’t take my arrival well. When mom brought me home from the hospital she turned her back on my mom and wouldn’t acknowledge her for a few days. Once she did mom had to keep a constant eye on her because any time she turned her back Tenley would start pounding on me. Literally, she would put her little arms through the bars on my crib and pound on me whenever she got the chance.