To the families that are stuck living in close proximity to Tenley I can only offer a little advice.

Protect your children. She does not care about the age of her victims. She has shown this over and over, if you live next to her you know this. There are clear cases documented in court papers on this site showing what she says and how she says it. She once told me a story about a Mexican family living in her building. She told me how she told them she was married to a soldier who is in Iraq and how he has guns and knows how to use them to kill Mexicans. She admitted to me that she said this with children present. That turned out later to be the Paz family.

Never let out any personal information. In fact, just don’t say anything. She will always use your personal information to hurt you. The more she knows about you the more weapons she has at her disposal to hurt you. And remember, to hurt you is her end game.

Ignore Her. Just as you do when raising a child and they are acting up, you must ignore their manipulative behavior. Her entire reason for harassing you is to get attention.  She has no other source for that. Ignoring her extreme behavior empowers you and isolates her even more. If she is not getting what she wants she will eventually move on. It is a very strong tool in keeping you mentally healthy in this situation.

Pity her, Feel sorry for her, Prey for her! She has nothing but what you see. Her life is nothing but negative energy that she has to share with those around her. Ignore her, no matter what she says it is lies and lies cannot hurt unless you let them.

Because her lies cannot hurt you there is no reason to get angry about what she is saying and doing. Anger is not creative; it is how she controls you.  Take that anger and turn it positive. She is doing this to herself if you let her control your emotions she is winning. So if you are documenting what she is doing you will see clearly how insane she is and how you are not. You can keep the higher ground and let her spin out of control on her own.

Tenley is a result of some of the worst kind of abuse you can imagine. She was hurt by the man who was supposed to be her protector.  His love is supposed to give her value, so she goes on to be a strong woman.  But she didn’t get love, she got the nastiest of attention.  So she could never have a healthy relationship with any man. She spent her entire life having to play games to manipulate money out of him to survive.  Her only relationships with men have to be men with extreme personalities.  Think cops and drug dealers, those are her favorites because they are very handy tools in her games. The only other safe haven she has ever had is with Agnus.  And this too shall pass. So always remember that she is the problem and her life has fallen to shit, but your life has the most important ingredient, LOVE.  Imagine life without any love at all.  Sad, so sad.

Keep a positive attitude. Remember, you all have families and friends who love you.  You have a future that she will never have. Learning to ignore the noise that barking dog makes at the end of its chain and enjoying your family, the park, whatever it takes.

She is the one that is miserable and she is trying to make you miserable with her. Guard that!  You control your emotions. She is a sick little angry dog making a lot of noise but what does she really have over you?  Nothing! That is why she will push you to your limits, to draw you out make you do something you wouldn’t normally do.

If she calls you an abuser over and over and over while she is doing some other unrelated detestable  thing to your family at the same time she is trying to get you to do something and then she will take you to court to be sure you are labeled that.  Once she is there, she has in you in servitude, if you raise your voice she will call the police and they will arrive with her absolutely distrait, crying, shaking, (with the cigarette is the best) and exclaim how scared of you she is.  (again, why doesn’t a millionaire just move?) And in the end if she is not stopped she will get you to move.

So keep that positive attitude, remember how beautiful your children are and the futures they have. Remember that you will have relationships with your children as adults (and, oh heck yah, grand children) that she has and will never have the opportunity to have.

Document everything you can. This means if you have a camera of any kind you document what she is doing to you. If there is any reason to call the police and file a report you do it. It is only the history of what she is doing that can stop her, but you must build that history today to be able to use it tomorrow. Just click the upload button in the top right of this page to upload any images, stories, whatever you have that I can verify to be true I will document in this book for you.

Don’t give in to her tears. Tenley is the crying master. She can cry on cue and has been manipulating police officers and others in the system this way for as long as I can remember.  She has always bragged to no end about it to me because it is how she manipulated our father for the last half century.  It is hard to see a woman cry, but just remember who she is, it is a façade and she will be laughing later if she gets away with it. She reads your faces while she is crying so she can play the room.